Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Another vacation to dread.

There is this scene in “All about Steve” where Sandra Bullock goes to a school and talks about her career as a cruciverbalist (Basically a person creating crosswords). And the kids at school starting firing questions at her. How she is able to make a living? Can she pay her mortgages etc? Finally she replies saying that she lives with her parents. They mock at her because she is staying with her parents. Now in America such a thing as living with your parents is looked down upon and old parents are normally left to fend for themselves. But in India till now we are left with this obligation to look after our parents. I like my parents. But to be honest they are very set in their ways and now having lived apart for four years I prefer living alone.

I have started dreading going on vacation to India because I don’t know how I am going to bridge the gap between them and my husband and I land up getting shouted at by both. This increases my Blood pressure and spoils my very idea of a relaxing vacation. It is better to stay back at Dubai despite the harsh climate because here at least I can do what I want without having to answer prying questions by too many people. I am American in some of my ways although I have never really been to America. I hate comparisons which actually my parents don’t do much of, but my in-laws are expert at it. But at least in the US you might find some like-minded folks, back home in India you wouldn’t. At least not in my lousy home-state. Of course people living in Chennai where I grew up are far better and more understanding than I could ever ask them to be. For the first time in my life I am dreading this vacation and I am hoping this won’t be as bad as I am imagining it to be.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A good one

It is uncanny that most often those who have an opinion on your life don’t matter and those who do matter, rarely do.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I got my license...

My diet stopped in 2 days flat. But then I had no time to grieve about it. Because the next day I got my license when I least expected it. Phew a license on a second attempt in Dubai is like a big achievement (of course there are the rare first attempt people). Finally I can hit the road with a well-deserved license.

I wish I could do something about my job. Somehow my career is now going nowhere. I should have known that it was flawed right from the beginning. But I still had hopes. Now that all the hopes have dwindled I have effectively stopped thinking about my career. I dread going to India because I dont know how to explain to them about the job I am doing. As a matter of fact I am not really sure what I am doing. Is this called a career?

Not to mention all other embarassing questions coming my way. I am wishing for the first time in my life that I dont have to go to India for a vacation. I am actually thinking of ways to get out of this trip once and for all.

And what the hell is happening to my English. I used to write well. And now I am doubting every sentence and every word I write. Is this the effect that a boss who is quirky on English has on you!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Diets and me... Day 1

My biggest problem and the battle I have been involved in for years has been the battle of the bulge. Let's face it I am a thorough foodie. I love food in all forms (except for the bittergourd or karela). I myself dont really relish cooking, but when I do I manage to empty my plate of the food no matter how good or bad it is. All of a sudden when I passed through the salad section of the Lulu hypermarket yesterday, I picked up the fruit salad and decided on eating it for dinner. Reached home and saw the other food stuff we bought from the restaurant, and I decided to eat that instead. This morning when I woke up the guilt struck me. I always felt offended when somebody called me fat, but why couldnt I take that insult as a challenge in order to diet!

So I have decided to change, atleast temporarily. Since morning I have surved on one piece of pineapple, half a glass strawberry milk, and the fruit salad purchased from Lulu yesterday. So far so good. No headaches and no tummy aches. I am planning to drink some soup at night. Let me see how far I can carry this diet and more importantly how much weight I loose as a result. As for the leftover cake I am gonna have it thrown away , if in case it tempts me too much. I will surely lose some money as a result but the benefit of hearing finally that you lost weight far outweighs the cost of that cake.....sigh! The things we do to look good.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Drowsiness.........

One month of Football, and its not even a sport I am interested in! I have hardly slept properly in the last 1 month. My whole body is in this feverish wake almost as if I have some deadly disease or something when I know that all I am is a little tired. I just dont feel like exercising even though I know I should be exercising. I want to have a diary, I just havent found a decent one.....grrrr. Why am I like this nowadays. Nothing appeals to me anymore no dresses, no food, no people......sigh. I want to change myself but I am not able to. And I cant believe I am wasting half my time and life in reading stupid Facebook status messages, other's walls, watching photo after photo and yet not do any of these things on my own. Heck I dont even have a decent profile pic because of fear that somebody may comment God, look at yourself you are now twice the size you were ten years ago. Yep, I am twice the size I was 10 years ago and I am definitely not happy about it, and yet I have done nothing to improve that situation of mine. Today for the first time in months or even years maybe somebody says I have lost weight. I am still not motivated to making that " Wow , you have lost a lot of weight"... GOD, please give me some inspiration!