Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Since I am now left alone with no one to interfere in my life I am much better and almost back to the person I used to be seven years ago. Things might have been wonderful for me had I not got into the software profession so many years ago. How was I to know what lay ahead of me?
But all said and done I have gotten older. I am stuck with dead weight that never seems to leave me. No matter how sporty I become I cant lose all the flab I have gained because of my depression.
I don't have any resolutions as yet. I am not good at keeping any. I just hope and pray to God that 2011 will be as good as 2010 and not worse that's all.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
There is no dearth of Indian athletes today. In almost all forms of sport. And the seniors or the veterans seem to be taking the right attitude in promoting them. I have got a new-found respect for Sachin Tendulkar today. I know I always admired him. But even more so now with so many talented players getting into the foray, he is still holding his own and how well he is doing it.
Some time back , when one of my cousins scored a better mark than me in his board exams I felt jealous. Up until then I held the record. But now when I look at Sachin and think, I dont think I set any great example to any of my junior cousins to follow.
I always wanted to become great, but now that's the last thing I am. And now I think this dream of mine might always remain a dream. I am not just able to come to terms with this fact.
Not one dream of mine has been realised till now. Sachin realised many and still has one dream of winning the World cup for India. Something that never happened despite having great team lineups. I dont even know what the equivalent of such a world cup is for me.
I dont have an aim , a target. A target that I want to achieve by say 2012. Is it because I was born a girl? I am still wasting my time doing rubbish work.
The worst thing is I dont even identify myself with any of the members in my family anymore.I simply cant get along with them. I was an epitome of patience 5 years ago. Now that's the last thing I am. I can talk to them, but I dont agree with any one of their views. The US of A was my dream destination. I guess even though I deny that verbally , on some levels it is still the type of place I want to settle in. Cos I simply hate people meddling with my life. A huge amount of success in life comes from family support, a thing I never had either before my marriage or after. I only had rules and examples to follow always. I am a wastrel of a person because I dont know how to cook. (This tops the list by the way, all my mother ever asks me is what did you make and eat today, and she spends 10 bucks a min just to ask me just that).
I have to admit Dubai has been a good escapade for me from my family. I might have even fallen in love with this place if it hadnt scr---d my career. But then again its not the fault of this city, its the fault of the Indians living in it. The greedy people in every company I have worked here is an Indian. If God gave me a chance I would want to live my life starting from the beginning in Dubai. It is a place that taught me a lot more than my hometown Chennai ever did.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
On the brighter side, Kaun Banega Crorepati has started. I remember the first time the show started ten years back. I was still a fresher in engineering college. Although I dreaded studying there, there was still this element of fun. Of not having any responsibilities yet. Cos' grown up life totally S---s. So atleast one of my hobbies i.e quizzing can be restarted. I have also started enjoying the Weakest Link and the MasterMind Quiz on BBC entertainment. Maybe I should get back on track with my reading habit as well now.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I have started dreading going on vacation to India because I don’t know how I am going to bridge the gap between them and my husband and I land up getting shouted at by both. This increases my Blood pressure and spoils my very idea of a relaxing vacation. It is better to stay back at Dubai despite the harsh climate because here at least I can do what I want without having to answer prying questions by too many people. I am American in some of my ways although I have never really been to America. I hate comparisons which actually my parents don’t do much of, but my in-laws are expert at it. But at least in the US you might find some like-minded folks, back home in India you wouldn’t. At least not in my lousy home-state. Of course people living in Chennai where I grew up are far better and more understanding than I could ever ask them to be. For the first time in my life I am dreading this vacation and I am hoping this won’t be as bad as I am imagining it to be.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I wish I could do something about my job. Somehow my career is now going nowhere. I should have known that it was flawed right from the beginning. But I still had hopes. Now that all the hopes have dwindled I have effectively stopped thinking about my career. I dread going to India because I dont know how to explain to them about the job I am doing. As a matter of fact I am not really sure what I am doing. Is this called a career?
Not to mention all other embarassing questions coming my way. I am wishing for the first time in my life that I dont have to go to India for a vacation. I am actually thinking of ways to get out of this trip once and for all.
And what the hell is happening to my English. I used to write well. And now I am doubting every sentence and every word I write. Is this the effect that a boss who is quirky on English has on you!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
So I have decided to change, atleast temporarily. Since morning I have surved on one piece of pineapple, half a glass strawberry milk, and the fruit salad purchased from Lulu yesterday. So far so good. No headaches and no tummy aches. I am planning to drink some soup at night. Let me see how far I can carry this diet and more importantly how much weight I loose as a result. As for the leftover cake I am gonna have it thrown away , if in case it tempts me too much. I will surely lose some money as a result but the benefit of hearing finally that you lost weight far outweighs the cost of that cake.....sigh! The things we do to look good.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I was offered a job yesterday in a PR firm for doing what I like doing the most which is writing. But quite frankly speaking, I am scared of taking it up. Why ..... There are many reasons for this. I am not sure I can start a career all over again. Primarily because I am not getting any younger with every passing day. I might have taken it up 4 years ago when I first came to Dubai, but now having lost a job once has made me lose some of my old confidence. Similarly, everyone around me including people younger to me seem to have accomplished more than I have and this is not helping my ego in any way. I hate it when "12th pass" kids are getting jobs faster than a well qualified engineer like me. Not that I hate the kids. But I am left to wonder, is there no value in my engineering degree for which I spent about Rs. 3 Lakhs at the end of 4 years. Of course it was my Dad's money. But it was a fairly big amount for him back then. And it was not because I was a bad student. A combination of illness and laziness before the engineering entrance exam and the bad luck of being born into an "upper caste" both became my undoing. (Ya it is bad luck nowadays if you are not an SC/ST or any other minority).
On the other hand, the fact that I even got selected for a content writer post has given me some confidence in my writing skills. Atleast there's one thing that I am atleast marginally good at. Phew , I have identified one skill of mine. For a long while I thought I didnt have any. But coming back to the topic, which job should I go to now? I am not good at managing people, that is something I have come to understand after 6 years of corporate life. So any job concerning managing people, especially ones who are older or of the same age will not help me. I am too nice to people to get back at them. But I tend to remember the details of bad things done to me even if they are very petty things.
Or should I stay on in the same job, finish my post-graduation and then Phd. And then start to teach? The business of education can bring in a lot of money if you know the right way to go about it. But I am not sure I am the best person to go about it the right way.
And about back to Information Technology, phew that would take me a lifetime for even a small promotion there. So I dont even want to get started about the troubles involved. But atleast we will have a better designation and the most important aspect : better salary!!
Now which road should I choose??????????
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Now this relative hails from the state that is abundant in rain, literature, culture, scenic beauty etc called Kerala. The irony of his statment now is that many districts in Kerala have a serious water shortage issue, and many housewives went on a strike for this just last week! Now I should ask the same guy what he has to say about this. At least, in Chennai they reacted to the water shortage situation in time, because they were always aware of the lack of rain in TamilNadu. But in Kerala , they had enough water from rains, yet didnt know how to save it. So guess who has the last laugh here? It is not enough to say something for the heck of hurting others, substantiate it with good examples! And if you cannot do your bit to save water on this planet then dont talk about others and their lack of it.
Thought for the day:
I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about. Oscar Wilde.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Another interesting thought I read in a campus journal about how guys make better teams and work together than girls. I agree with this to a large extent. From my experience this is indeed true. Very rarely do your girlfriends stick up for you and give good advice. But the minute you are close friends with a guy it is perceived as something else altogether. What kind of a world is this?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wow, I totally dig this piece I found recently in a blog that I follow:
ON BECOMING A NOVELIST
If you go to dental school you will take a state exam when you finish and, upon passing, you will be given a license to practice dentistry. In order to take the test, you must have first submitted to a rigorous course of study, done thousands of hours of supervised work in people's mouths, taken hundreds of exams, and paid a lot of money. When you're finished, you will be called "Doctor," and your cup will runneth over with drilling, filling, and billing. If you do good gold crowns, play soft music in the waiting room, have a receptionist with a sympathetic smile and a soothing voice, you may even become rich.
In the course of your studies you will have been transformed from an ordinary citizen into a Doctor of Dental Surgery. You will even begin to think of yourself as something more than an ordinary citizen. Someone will ask you who you are and you will say, "Sam Smoot, Doctor of Dental Surgery."
For novel writing, unlike dentistry, there is no course of study you can pursue and, when finished, say "I'm a novelist." You can get an M.F.A. in creative writing, or a Ph.D. in the modern novel, but that won't make you a bona fide novelist. To be a novelist, you have to get published.
Being an unpublished novelist has about as much social acceptability as being a shopping bag lady. Should the word get out about you, your friends will snicker. Your neighbors will whisper about you. Your Uncle Albert will try to talk you into becoming a chiropractor. Your Aunt Bethilda will take you aside and lecture you on the grim realities and responsibilities of adulthood. Your creditors will break out in hives. Your mother will be sympathetic, but late at night her eyes will flood with tears as she tries to figure out where she went wrong.
It's a sad fact of life, but to be an honest-to-goodness novelist you must have that honor conferred on you by a publisher. But remember this: each and every bird is first an egg, and each and every published novelist is first an unpublished novelist - even the great ones, Ernest Hemingway, Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, and James Joyce included.
There are several strategies for avoiding the stigma attached to proclaiming yourself a would-be novelist. One is to tell people you are a writer, but not to admit that what you're writing is fiction. Suppose you're writing a murder mystery in which the victim is a prostitute and the murderer is a college professor. You can tell everyone you're writing a book about sexual mores and morbidity in academia. That sounds like a good subject for a nonfiction book. Your friends will be impressed. It's okay to be a nonfiction writer because it's assumed that nonfiction writers are hard-nosed practical people who take life seriously. Besides, it is popularly believed - possibly with some justification - that anyone who can spell well can write a nonfiction book, so no one will doubt that your project has merit.
Another way to camouflage your novel-writing pursuits is to enroll in an English Literature degree program someplace and take only snap courses. As long as it looks as if you're working for a degree no one will ask what you're doing locked in your study all day and half the night. If they ask why you're banging away so hard on your typewriter, tell them you're writing a thesis. Everyone knows that's a sensible thing to do.
Some novelists at the beginning of their careers go completely underground. These "closet" novelists tell no one. They hide their manuscripts behind the refrigerator. They write in longhand so no one will hear the clacking of typewriter keys. Nobody knows the closet novelist even reads novels, let alone wites them. Their spouses may think they are keeping a lover in the basement or garage, or wherever it is they "do it."
Any of these methods will work. The alternative, the "John Wayne Solution," is a bit tougher. The John Wayne Solution is this: grit your teeth, rock back on your heels, stick your thumbs in your belt, and just say it - I'm writing a novel, nad if you so much as smirk I'll punch your lights out, pilgrim.
You get the idea.