Thursday, April 1, 2010

At the crossroads .......

Every once in a while you reach a situation or a point in life where you are confused about some of the choices that lie ahead of you. I am right now in a job that is not too demanding, but at the same time has little or no future. On the other hand, a job related to my degree beckons me. But with the same old story of coding, testing, bug-fixing and never ending new-releases which anyway dont excite me anymore. But I am a computer science engineer. How can I forget that. 4 years of painful learning with a high fee at a private engineering college. And it is still the highest degree I posess.
I was offered a job yesterday in a PR firm for doing what I like doing the most which is writing. But quite frankly speaking, I am scared of taking it up. Why ..... There are many reasons for this. I am not sure I can start a career all over again. Primarily because I am not getting any younger with every passing day. I might have taken it up 4 years ago when I first came to Dubai, but now having lost a job once has made me lose some of my old confidence. Similarly, everyone around me including people younger to me seem to have accomplished more than I have and this is not helping my ego in any way. I hate it when "12th pass" kids are getting jobs faster than a well qualified engineer like me. Not that I hate the kids. But I am left to wonder, is there no value in my engineering degree for which I spent about Rs. 3 Lakhs at the end of 4 years. Of course it was my Dad's money. But it was a fairly big amount for him back then. And it was not because I was a bad student. A combination of illness and laziness before the engineering entrance exam and the bad luck of being born into an "upper caste" both became my undoing. (Ya it is bad luck nowadays if you are not an SC/ST or any other minority).
On the other hand, the fact that I even got selected for a content writer post has given me some confidence in my writing skills. Atleast there's one thing that I am atleast marginally good at. Phew , I have identified one skill of mine. For a long while I thought I didnt have any. But coming back to the topic, which job should I go to now? I am not good at managing people, that is something I have come to understand after 6 years of corporate life. So any job concerning managing people, especially ones who are older or of the same age will not help me. I am too nice to people to get back at them. But I tend to remember the details of bad things done to me even if they are very petty things.
Or should I stay on in the same job, finish my post-graduation and then Phd. And then start to teach? The business of education can bring in a lot of money if you know the right way to go about it. But I am not sure I am the best person to go about it the right way.
And about back to Information Technology, phew that would take me a lifetime for even a small promotion there. So I dont even want to get started about the troubles involved. But atleast we will have a better designation and the most important aspect : better salary!!

Now which road should I choose??????????